Honesty

This quote is from a blog I have just read about Archbishop Rowan & how many people have said he has turned out to be weak & ineffectual.

‘This, I suggest, happens for two main reasons. First, Dr Williams has a vision of the church as an exemplary and life-expanding company of Godward people which many both within and without the institution have lost sight of or hope in. Second, he chooses his words with great care and nuance in a media culture which is ill-adapted to see either as a virtue, and in the midst of a dispute where complexity and ambiguity rapidly become political irritants. We do not want to hear what Rowan is saying, because it does not fit the mould of ‘power leadership’, and because we just want him to say what we are saying. If he doesn’t, we are quick to accuse him of naiveté or betrayal.’

It made me reflect on what we say to others & how people often say what will cause least upset or offense. Sometimes people skirt round the issue or problem as they don’t want to lose a friendship. But in that case is it a real friendship? I am not thinking of
being honest or blunt for the sake of it, but when asked for an opinion is it spoken in love or is it skirted around? Learning from experience is often a reason for not speaking out when there is a potential issue or problem, leave them to find out for themselves is often said when people do things that seem irrational to others.

I have frequently been left to learn from experience because people don’t think they can be honest with me! I have been left wondering if that is what they really think or is it what they think I want to hear! Being honest does not seem to be part of our understanding of discipleship anymore, I would much prefer those I ask to tell me honestly what they think, even if it hurts and I don’t like it! I can always choose to ignore what they say! What about you?

Personally I think that whatever Archbishop Rowan said there was always one or more groups who weren’t going to agree with him, because he didn’t say what they wanted him to say! Prophets never do…

Choices & choosing

Since this morning I have made numerous choices, such as when to get up, bath or shower, what to wear, whether to put the washing out, what washing to keep inside as no room left on the washing line! Whether to bring washing in before going out with a friend, what to have for lunch, what to drink, when to read emails, what blogs to read…

Yesterday was a day when choices were talked about in conversations I had and it wasn’t me bringing choices into the conversation, the same happened today. In my daily bible readings choice has been a theme as well and have been seriously thinking about choice and then a tweet signposted me to an article in the New Statesman which was about choice and not an easy choice either.

How we make a decision, an active choice is sometimes a gut feeling, sometimes we do it with no real thinking and sometimes we need to think longer than perhaps we do! I know I have had a tendency to make choices too quickly and have made an effort to slow my decision making processes down. Most people have the freedom to make choices, the question is do we make the best choices for everyone, or simply for ‘me’ as an individual? As followers of Christ we live as part of community, and sometimes community is there for us to be accountable to others in our choices, sometimes it is uncomfortable but good for us, sometimes we take no notice, but that is our choice. I have taken no notice sometimes and sometimes I have listened, but always thought about it first!

I have made one choice however that didn’t need any time as I knew it was the right thing to do! The choice? Well it was to follow Christ as a disciple and more recently another choice has been to spend more time reading my bible and praying more, spending more time waiting and listening to God instead of talking.

Philippians 1:27-30 talks of living in such a way that we are a credit to the message of Christ, standing firm and united, focussed…. There is also more than trusting, there is suffering too and that is a gift.

What choices have we made that we might be regretting now? What choices would we make exactly the same way if we had to make it again? My choice is to follow Christ whatever that means, and have said many times, not my will, but yours be done, and I am learning what that means and the moment… But God is my peace, my strong tower and my help!

Word & Seed

Still on the scriptures theme from yesterday, twice today at different times and because of different reasons,I have read the passage from Matthew 13 about the seed falling on bad, mediocre and good soil.

I have always read the bible, starting off when I could read and I still have the first bible I was given from my mum when I was 7. It was a tiny pocket sized King James Version with print so small it is a good job I have varifocals!!!!

I have a lot of bibles in my house, good news, Gideon bible, NRSV’s ( at least 4)’ Jerusalem, NIV’s. KJV’s, and then on top of the actual copies I have also access to many other bibles on my phone and internet! Everyday people buy the bible all over the world and yet how many people actually really read it? I ask myself the same question, how often do I/ do you really sit and do nothing but simply read and memorise our scriptures? I am currently reading the bible through in a year and because I skim read most things, I have become very conscious of needing to really slow down when reading my bible and with an openness to listening to what God wants me to learn… In other words, allowing the word/the seed, to fall into good soil!

That way, the seed grows into a healthy plant and then becomes a good witness to the seed or the word that has been planted and nurtured.

A Lamp & a Light

The one thing that keeps coming back to me at the moment, is to let God’s word be nurtured in my very being…to meditate on His words day and night in order to be walking blameless before Him, to point the way to our risen Lord.

I was reminded of the song below as I was reading my bible this morning and it has been going round in my head ever since. Psalm 119:105

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path

When I feel afraid
And think I’ve lost my way
Still, You’re there right beside me
Nothing will I fear
As long as You are near
Please be near me to the end

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path

I will not forget
Your love for me and yet
My heart forever is wandering
Jesus by my guide
And hold me to Your side
And I will love You to the end

Nothing will I fear
As long as You are near
Please be near me to the end

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path
And a light unto my path
You’re the light unto my path

Faith journeys

Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus had set for their reunion. The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally. Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: “God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:16-20 MSG)

I love listening to people when they are talking of their faith journey or as I think of it as a journey into faith. Today I had the great pleasure of having conversations at separate times with two lovely people and some of the time with both was about the journey they are on into deeper faith and that also included some of my story.

One of the conversations was about how different people are in talking about faith, about God! Neither of us are people who could stand on the street and shout or sing about the good news, but we both do talk about our faith in God, albeit in different ways. I know I stand up and preach and people can see I must have a belief in God when I wear my clerical collar, but my personal preference would be to show the love of God by my actions and by one to one or small group conversations than larger groups and I think that is perfectly acceptable to God.

The passage above from Matthew talks about going out and training people, baptising and then instructing them in the practice of what Jesus had commanded them. But the bit that really caught my eye was the bit just before that where it says ‘The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.’ For me, this is a key part in the whole passage… I personally do want to take the risk totally, but also need to recognise that sometimes God commissions those who don’t want to or for some reason can’t take it totally! God is the one who knows how much or how little we risk and if it is good enough for Him, then it should be good enough for me with no questioning. My longing though I guess is that people would be able to talk about a personal faith rather than a more vague belief in ‘something Godlike’ but not quite sure what!

I believe in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, and I am so grateful that I do want to talk about my faith – I hope you do too… Let us not be ashamed of our faith and our God.

Change & Transformation

I am not someone who like to have things in the same places in my home for years and already I have moved my study round and only moved in on the 3rd March! So change is something I quite like – if I am the instigator of the change!! It is slightly different however, when I am not the changemaker, sometimes it’s fine, sometimes when it is a complete bolt out of the blue, it’s not as fine! I remember one birthday a few years ago now when I was still at college, I thought I was going out for a quiet dinner only to find a surprise party had been arranged for me!! That was a shock and I think I coped well, but inside I was all over the place!!

I have been off work now for three months and more than ready to go back to doing some work, although part time at first, but that was a shock as I have not been off work for more than the odd day since I started working, bar once when I was off with a back problem for 4 weeks. I went off sick due to something happening in work that was a shock, in fact over the past six weeks there have been a few shocks that have all contributed to my being off for the past three months.

At the beginning it was not a good experience as I really did not know what to do with my days! However, over the past 6 weeks, I have been more able to do things and see people on a more regular basis which has helped, plus moving into a really light and airy house has been a real blessing. I am an introvert and so it has been fine for me in that I don’t like being around lots of people as it tires me out, but it has also been good in that once again I have had to trust in God that He has everything in control for me!, It might not have been what I or others wanted, but for me at this moment in time it has been a good space to try to listen more to God, to try to discern what I am supposed to be doing, rethinking some things, being puzzled & hurt about others, but knowing that God has my best interest at heart.

I have been reminded over the Lent & Easter period that sometimes we are left wondering where God is in our lives, in various situations and even relationships both working and personal relationships. I have also been reminded that sometimes what we think we should be doing is not what God really wants and that sometimes what happens is the result of others agenda’s as well as our own desires, OR it can sometimes be that God will use something to move us on in faith!

This has certainly happened with me in the last few weeks! I am now pondering what the next phase of my life will bring, things have certainly changed in my life and am looking to God to bring me through the next stage of transformation on the way to becoming more like Him. The song below says it all really – although not necessarily a big fan of the chorus, I do understand the ethos behind it and do want Jesus to be the centre of everything I do, wherever that takes me!

Verse1:
Jesus, be the centre
Be my source, be my light
Jesus
Jesus, be the centre
Be my hope, be my song
Jesus

Chorus:
Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in these sails
Be the reason that I live
Jesus, Jesus

Verse 2:
Jesus, be my vision
Be my path, be my guide
Jesus

And Monday always follows Sunday (living in the way God wants)

When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to Abram and said to him, I am Almighty God; walk before Me and be blameless. (Genesis 17:1 NKJV)

He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8 NKJV)

For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. (Galatians 5:17 MSG)

That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don’t give it the time of day. (Romans 6:12 MSG)

Epehsians chapter 4 – read it in the amplified cersion!!

Yesterday two people both said they would love to come and have a chat with me, both unexpected but both welcomed. We haven’t had the chat yet, but am looking forward to doing so & seeing God in the conversations. I am looking forward to the conversations partly because of accountability and partly about being honest before God & others. The honesty before God happens all the time, no point in being anything other than honest and the honesty before others – well again no point being anything else,

How we live our lives is often the way people will meet God, so what we do & what we say should be the same, and yet often one or the other is out of sync and therefore may well not be honouring to God, so how we conduct our lives can be very important in encouraging people to meet with the living God. We should not simply be sunday christians, but disciples who are daily trying to walk before God being blameless, who are doing justly, loving mercy and walking humbly, stop being selfish and not giving any space for sin in our conduct.

So what are we doing to ensure we are walking blameless and before God and not in ways that are dishonouring or will take us away from God.

Monday always follows Sunday – The way we live our lives coming out of our worship to the resurrected Christ… he is risen indeed, so let’s live our lives in such a way as glorifies and points the way to God.

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